


we're both so familiar

by mildlydiscouraging



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Episode Tag, Feelings, First Kiss, Getting Back Together, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Missing Scene, Pre-Relationship, Season/Series 02, Season/Series 03, Second Kiss, nerd flirting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2019-01-27 16:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12585516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mildlydiscouraging/pseuds/mildlydiscouraging
Summary: Just because he can feel other people's feelings doesn't mean he's any more adept at knowing what to do with them, or even with his own, for that matter. Needless to say, it takes a bit of work. Or, four times Caleb and Adam didn't get together, and two times they did.sweet sixteen, how was I supposed to know anything?





	we're both so familiar

**IV.**

Winning is such a good feeling. Caleb loves it. He'll never say it out loud (thinking it sounds bad enough) but yeah, he fucking loves winning. All the pride and excitement and energy of everyone focused into sheer happiness is an addicting feeling on its own, and being a part of the reason it's happening only magnifies that.

It's their second to last regular game and they've completely crushed the other team and they only have to win one more game to go to the championship, and Caleb feels like he's full of helium and electricity both. Every single person around him is feeling the same rush of both anticipation and pride, over and over and over, and it’s amazing but with an unfamiliar sharp edge that keeps it a lot of one feeling instead of one big one.

It takes him a second to figure out why, but then he hears that pointed restrained excitement that he knows is Adam and looks up to immediately find him. Adam is already looking at him and deigns to remove one hand from its pocket to give Caleb a thumbs up. He sticks out like a sore thumb in his dark clothes apart from the larger group, like a government agent or undercover time traveler or something (wow, Adam's really in his head, huh?), and there's mild discomfort under his other feelings. Caleb feels guilty for half a second before the excitement is back, and he knows that if Adam knew he'd be rolling his eyes and pointing out that he drove twenty minutes to get here, of course he wants to be here, Caleb, come on.

When Caleb returns as soon as possible from packing up all his stuff the crowd has mostly dispersed. Other than a few stragglers and the coach talking to some people on the opposite end of the field, the stadium is empty.

Plus Adam, of course. Now that he's not surrounded by cheering sports enthusiasts he’s a lot more comfortable, leaning against the metal fence separating the seats from the field in a tableau reminiscent of so many afternoons. It's cold out so he's wearing three jackets and some particularly lame fingerless gloves, but he has his hood down and Caleb can feel the warmth behind his half smile as he approaches.

"Hold this?"

Adam takes the duffel bag Caleb offers and steps back to watch with amusement as Caleb attempts to climb over the fence. It's not in any way graceful, or even particularly coordinated. His shoelaces snag and when he flips sideways Adam starts laughing so hard he almost falls over.

"Light on your feet, huh?"

"Listen," Caleb lands mostly right-side up and straightens, "I'm not made for hopping fences, okay? My skills lie elsewhere."

"Yeah, they do." When Adam huffs out a laugh it fogs up his glasses and he smiles as he continues wryly, "Congrats, by the way."

The excited feeling is back, making Caleb feel like he's going twice as fast as the rest of the world, or maybe like the world is going twice as slow, half as fast? Something like that.

Adam watches him bounce on his toes for a second before taking pity on him and opening his arms. "Come on, bring it in."

He's rolling his eyes even as Caleb hugs him, but Caleb can still feel his _happyforCaleb_ and something that feels like pride, a shiny dark red under everything else, and it feels even better this close to the source, so to speak.

"Ugh, you smell awful."

"Shut up."

So much of how Caleb perceives people has to do with how they feel and Adam's always had such huge, unavoidable emotions that he kind of forgot. Even now, confronted with the reality of how small he is wrapped up Caleb's arms, his feelings are so _there_ and so hard to ignore that it feels... bigger than him. Bigger than the two of them.

Adam leans back to look Caleb in the eye and his excitement is colored by the tiniest drops of concern, spreading like trailing off watercolors but still noticeable in the sea of pure warm green. "You okay?"

Not being able to think of anything to say that wouldn't sound completely crazy, Caleb just closes his eyes and hugs Adam a little tighter. He gets so caught in the _goodbettersafegrounded_ that he doesn't notice Adam's feelings sliding from excited to a sort of pleased embarrassment until he leans back into a proper hug. They stand there for a moment long enough for Caleb to forget that they're standing outside in the cold.

When Adam finally steps back, spiked with real embarrassment this time, Caleb notices a few of his teammates leaning against the fence nearby.

"I'll talk to you later, yeah?" Adam starts to take a step back but stops to ask, "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I guess I'm just still in football mode." Caleb hesitates for a second before continuing, with a tilt up at the end to make it almost a question, "Thank you for coming."

Adam smiles down at the cracked concrete under his shoes, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his hoodie and shrugging, and he really _is_ small, isn't he? Tiny—pocket sized, really, and cu—

Caleb derails that train of thought soon enough to hear Adam say, "Yeah, well, my best friend was doing his big dumb important sports thing, so I kinda had to come."

For a second Caleb wishes that Adam had his power too so he could make sense of whatever is jackhammering the inside of Caleb's ribs right now for him. Instead he just sighs overdramatically and listens to Adam's answering laugh.

"I'll text you," Adam says as he walks backward past the bleachers. He's almost out of sight when he stumbles on an uneven bit of sidewalk and at Caleb's laugh he shouts back, "Shut up!"

Caleb keeps laughing until he feels some weird kind of twinge from behind him, almost like friendly exasperation with a hint of grossed out in the middle. He turns around to see a few of his teammates leaning on the metal fence behind him.

"Bus is leaving, Michaels," one of them says.

"Well why didn't you tell me?"

Caleb grabs his bag and heads for the exit, trying not to feel jealous of the fact that they all hop the fence easily to follow him.

Another one says, "Didn't want to interrupt your moment with your boyfriend," and he's really glad they're still behind him and can't tell that his face is heating up.

"He's not my fucking boyfriend," he mumbles just loud enough for them to hear.

"Whatever you say, dude."

"He's not!"

But on the bus ride home, when the only interruption in the streetlamps flicking past is his phone lighting up with texts from Adam, he lets himself wonder for half a second.

 

**III.**

Adam is constantly, inexplicably, randomly nervous and Caleb is slowly going out of his mind because as hard as he tries he can't seem to figure out why.

Nervousness is a shitty emotion to experience from someone else already—it's itchy and anxious like the tag in the back of a too-small shirt. Most of the time he can tell why someone is feeling whatever it is and he can deal with it then, but the fact that it's Adam and he still doesn't know why is beyond irritating. It's like uncomfortable and disappointing and just _wrong_ all wrapped up into one feeling and it's deep under his skin.

It just makes no sense. It's completely random, which is almost as bad as the actual feeling, and it's driving him crazy. Like right now they're just sitting in Adam's basement and trying to get one of the last _Portal_ co-op achievements he needs and all of a sudden he goes from the solid blue that means Adam is thinking and engaged and enjoying himself to a spike of a yellowing green.

"Are you okay?" Caleb asks. Well, not so much asks as blurts out a little angrily. Oops. He's just really on edge, that's all, and growing inexplicably more so with the addition of both his own anxiety and Adam's.

"What?" Adam glances up and is distracted long enough for his character to walk straight off the platform. "Oh fuck you, you did that on purpose."

"Why would I wanna do that? We're supposed to work together." Caleb guides his own robot over to the edge so the level resets. As they wait he says, "No, I was just wondering, I guess. You seem... off."

"I'm fine." Adam starts the setup again but glances at Caleb more often than usual. "Why?"

A tiny bit of worry creeps over and thankfully washes out the nervousness from before, but Caleb suddenly loses all his nerve. Why did he think this was a good idea? What was he thinking?

"It's just..." Caleb idly spins his robot around the screen, mostly just to have something to do with his hands. "Sometimes we'll be sitting here not even really doing anything and then out of nowhere you'll get all nervous and I can never understand why."

"How did you know I'm nervous?"

Apparently Adam has completely given up all pretense of focusing on the game and turns to face Caleb, pulling his legs up to sit sideways on the couch. When Caleb dares to glance over, he recognizes the look on Adam's face—inquisitive, but also a little on guard. It's the look he used to have in the beginning of their friendship when Caleb would ask about his weekend or something he referenced and Adam didn't understand why he wanted to know. It's the look he has whenever Caleb knows something he shouldn't, says something he shouldn't be able to know about someone's feelings or motivations because he can—

That's when Caleb realizes how crazy this is, and it hits him like a wall of water.

"I guess I'm just... really perceptive," he manages to get out, and he can tell Adam doesn't really accept it but knows he's not going to get anything else out of him, so he turns back to the screen.

"Yeah, I got that." A curious smile and twinge of satisfaction, like Adam's proud of himself for recognizing that Caleb is sensitive. That so shouldn't be as cute as it is.

Adam doesn't say anything further and even though Caleb still wants to know what made Adam so nervous he certainly isn't going to bring it up, so they lapse back into silence, the only sound in the room the ambient sounds of the game. He's sure Adam can tell something's up but he's being sucked down into a mental spiral.

What if he told Adam? What if he told him all of it, not just the feelings stuff but the feeling feelings stuff too? The moment the possibility enters his head he can't think about anything else. What it would be like to have Adam know, to have him there when things get overwhelming, to not have to censor himself, to just have someone _know_?

He starts spiraling wonderfully down into everything that could mean and starts to forget that Adam is right there in the room with him and not only in his mind. Adam would believe him, right? He's smart (he's so fucking smart, it's ridiculous), he'll get it, and it's already stopped being a hypothetical but he can’t stop because... What if he told him?

"Caleb?" Adam's voice shakes Caleb from his thoughts and he looks up to see Adam watching him expectantly. "You know the plan?"

"Yeah," he says as he picks up his controller again. "Yeah, I got it."

 

**II.**

"So..." Adam kicks some water up out of the gutter. "What'd you think?"

Caleb's thoughts are like a swarm of bees, but he manages to clear them enough to come back to the present. "Of what?"

He's still kind of super really distracted, if he's being completely honest, and Adam must notice because he elbows Caleb lightly as he says, "Of the album."

"Oh, right, yeah." He looks back down at their feet, Adam's boots wet with puddle water and his own sneakers a little muddy. It feels... so specific, like all this detail exists because he's supposed to notice it and learn something, but he doesn't know what.

"I thought it was alright." Adam shrugs as they step into the park proper. "I was a little disappointed they turned back around from the stylistic changes they made last album, but it wasn't bad or anything."

"Yeah..."

They stop talking for a little while, Adam waiting for Caleb to get into whatever necessitated them leaving the house and Caleb trying to figure out how to say it. Spring is in full swing and it's started raining, little scattering showers here and there, but right now it's just a little overcast. It's been warm all day but with the clouds it's gotten a little chilly, and Adam burrows a little into his borrowed sweatshirt. It's kind of distracting because Caleb can't stop thinking about how if everything goes right then maybe Adam will want to keep it and maybe he'll wear to school and he looks really cute, he's so cute, and—

"So... what did you want to talk about?"

It all goes to shit.

Honestly? Caleb doesn't know why. He practiced what he was going to say a million times (the first time out loud to the mirror, but in his head once that proved to be too creepy) to make sure that he didn't scare Adam off or anything, and apparently all for nothing. The more he thinks about it, though, the more he realizes that he spent so much time overthinking the feelings confession part that he didn't even think to worry about the feeling feelings confession.

He was dealing with that mistake now, and he gets the feeling he won't be getting back that sweatshirt back.

 

**i.**

That afternoon Caleb is so caught up in Adam—Adam sitting next to him on the park bench in quiet happiness, Adam lighting up whenever Caleb mentions semi-offhand how Adam is feeling, Adam asking a billion questions and getting more and more excited with every answer, Adam holding his hand for a long moment before going home and for the briefest of seconds leaning up to barely press their lips together, oh god, _Adam kissed him_ , how could he ever think about literally anything else?—that he doesn't notice it at first.

It's only when he's going to bed that night and is trying to force his mind to stop running through every detail of every minute of the day that Caleb realizes they never talked about them being a _them_. The second he does he practically throws himself off the bed reaching for his phone.

_Hey. I like you_

He forces himself to press the send button before he can start overthinking it. In the meantime, waiting for the grey dots to bubble up, he does start to wonder if there was a reason they didn't talk about it, wait, what if there was a reason they didn't talk about?

_I know._

He doesn't have to wait very long at all, though. The reply buzzes through immediately and Caleb's grin is huge as he types back.

_You were really looking forward to getting to say that huh?_

_Duh._  
_And I like you too_  
_Also duh_

_Oh. Good_

_Yeah?_

_I mean, yeah, ofc, very good_

_Well that's good to know._

_I'm just..._  
_I'm glad we're good_

 _Yeah_  
_I'm glad you told me._

The next morning they walk to school together, despite the fact that it's inconveniently out of their collective way and a little cold, and Caleb discovers the wonderful experience of that split second of nervous anticipation from Adam before he deliberately lets their hands brush against each other or says something affectionate that he thinks is risky. They talk about _them_ a bit, mostly in the form of embarrassed confessions that make them both grateful the way they're walking doesn't make eye contact necessary (although there's a lot of that as well), and despite the fact that they don't answer any burning questions it's still the nicest morning Caleb has had in a long time.

In English they work on their project for _The Scarlet Letter_. Adam complains about run-on sentences and pages long paragraphs as Caleb rolls his eyes. It's nice outside again, so they eat lunch watching the poor JV baseball kids running laps. They walk home together and watch the new episode of a show they pretend to hate but secretly are both really into, and Caleb very carefully presses their knees together, and Adam reciprocates, and the afternoon is tinged with purple pink like cotton candy ice cream but otherwise is completely normal. It's a Monday, that's all. It's a normal Monday in April.

Because the thing is this: they're still best friends. They still hang out every day and mock each other for not getting a movie reference and copy each other's homework and text each other weird YouTube videos at two in the morning. Sometimes Caleb will feel that particular fondness and look over to find Adam already looking at him and now neither of them will look away immediately, and they both smile a lot more, but not much changes. They're still best friends, and it's so good, but it makes it kind of hard to ask to change anything.

That's why it isn't until a week after the dramatic revelations that it happens. Caleb and Adam are in the back corner of library during lunch. Sitting on the floor, they're surrounded by books as Adam looks for the proof to win some argument they've been having for days that Caleb has already forgotten the source of.

"I swear it was in one of these," Adam says as he passes yet another book off to Caleb. "In five seconds you're gonna look so dumb."

Caleb drops the book on top of the pile he's started nearby and laughs. "Fucking ridiculous."

"What do you mean?" Adam frowns and Caleb smiles at the little crease that always forms on his forehead that Caleb will never admit he finds adorable.

"I mean, all of this." He waves a hand at the books scattered around them. "You could just look it up, I mean, we have the internet, but instead you pulled down half the shelves just to prove a point. You're so petty, it's ridiculous."

"Yeah, well, you're the one dating me," Adam shoots back, and he doesn't even seem to realize what he's said until Caleb freezes. When he finishes mentally rewinding the conversation he quickly continues, "And besides, you're just mad that I'm right and you're wrong, again, as always."

They look at each other for a moment, both a little worried and hopeful that they other will comment on it, and just when it seems safe Caleb finds himself blurting out, "Are we dating?"

Adam stares intently at his own fingers fiddling with his shoelaces. "I don't know, maybe? I mean, I know I guess I kissed you? Last week? But I don't know if that's like a regular occurrence now or..."

He makes the mistake of looking up and, upon meeting Caleb's eyes, trails off into a blush. For a second Caleb tries to figure out who's feeling excited and who's feeling anxious before deciding that it's both of them and asking, "Could it be?"

Adam somehow blushes even harder and Caleb metaphorically stumbles over himself to continue, "I mean, could— Do you think I could kiss you again? Or, I guess you did the first time, but—"

Caleb is saved from trying to find a non-embarrassing end to that sentence as Adam nods enthusiastically, only going still when Caleb gets closer so as not to knock them both out. There's a few false starts as Adam starts giggling nervously at one point and Caleb leans on the precarious stack of books and almost falls over, but eventually their lips meet for just long enough to qualify as a kiss before they both start smiling too much to continue. When their noses collide Adam laughs, for real this time, and Caleb feels like he's going to drown in whatever this yellow orange feeling is that tastes like helium and hard candy. It's like happiness and excitement and something else and Caleb presses their foreheads together maybe to better understand but mostly because he can.

"What are you feeling right now?" He asks after they kiss again.

"You tell me," Adam shoots back, and this time it's his turn to lean in and Caleb's to break away laughing.

"I don't know," he says. "Uh, joy?"

Adam lights up, not like a switch flipped but a quiet warming glow that slowly takes over his entire face, and Caleb commits this feeling to memory. "Yeah. That sounds about right."

They keep kissing on the floor of the empty library until the last possible second, and, after they walk home together, the kissing (and joy) continues.

 

**I.**

It isn't until July that Caleb really starts to notice the emptiness, or anything at all for that matter. He wasn't exaggerating when he said he needed time alone, and even when the stress of school is gone he just keeps getting stuck in this loop of hyperawareness. He's thinking about everything and then feels himself feeling bad and feels worse because of it, like an endless cycle where he can tell he's out of control but he's outside his body and can't do anything.

It's fucking  _awful_ and so hard to get out of that when he eventually does become cognizant enough of the world around him weeks have passed and they're up at the lake somehow and he didn't even notice. He realizes too late that they never really specified how long "a little while" would be but complete radio silence for weeks probably isn't a good sign.

Caleb is lying on the living room couch, staring up at the ceiling while the television drones on in the background. He's watching the blades of the fan swing around in that sort of tired, empty state that he usually feels right before falling asleep but has been stuck in all day, when his mom walks through.

"You ready?"

"Huh?"

She backtracks enough to lean over the back of the couch and look down at him. "Fireworks," she says. "At the Thompson’s. We're leaving soon, didn't you hear me calling?"

"Uh... yeah."

Caleb distantly feels a spike of concern as she leaves and for once it doesn’t linger, shooting into the hollow grey of everything else and immediately getting swallowed by nothing, but he's too occupied to notice.

Fireworks. Fourth of July. Fuck.

He reaches for his phone before realizing it's upstairs, and that he didn't know what he would've done with it anyway.

They were going to watch the fireworks together. Adam was going to come up to the cabin for the weekend and protest every time Caleb made him go outside but never genuinely. Caleb was going to show him around the woods and try to get him in the lake. They were going to read in the hammock together, and make faces at each other over whole grain pancakes because Caleb's dad was on kind of a health kick, and light fireworks that Adam would be a little too into and Caleb would flinch away from if the sparks got too close to his sneakers, and maybe at the end of the night—

Well. That was the plan.

A part of Caleb (his consciousness, that detached little voice that sounds like Dr. Bright) chimes in that if he just stopped putting it off and called Adam (and that's how he knows it's Dr. Bright, because regular Caleb would never jump straight to calling) and somehow explained what happened and what was going on that everything would be alright. Or that everything would be on its way to alright.

But he doesn't know how to do that, so he leaves his phone upstairs and walks out the door.

 

**ii.**

Adam gets a text at one in the morning on a Thursday asking if they could talk and he agrees, he tells himself, because he's tired and can't think, and not because he misses the sound of Caleb's voice. They make plans for that Friday at the park halfway between their houses that they always used to go to, and the conversation ends with a half-joke about if Friday counts as tomorrow yet and the awkward unspoken understanding that they'll meet at their bench (and that neither of them has been able to stop thinking of it as their bench). The next two days they awkwardly make eye contact at school and fill the time they can't avoid with weird small talk that they both know is useless but can't stop themselves from doing.

Friday afternoon comes with the first hint that summer is officially over. On his way out the door Adam grabs a jacket, any jacket, without looking, too nervous to notice which. It isn't until he's walking over to Caleb on the bench (their bench, but it hurts to think about it that way) he realizes he's got on the emerald green windbreaker he got for his birthday one year but only started wearing after Caleb explained his whole metaphor for them. It tightens the knot in his stomach and he almost doesn't keep walking forward.

That anxiety starts to dissolve when Caleb finally meets his eye. Nothing has even really changed yet, but just seeing Caleb seeing him, sitting there on that bench, gives Adam the kind of bittersweet grounding he needs to sit down and listen.

He's so glad he does. They end saying things neither of them realized they had been waiting to say, and by the end have fallen into a teasing that's so heartbreakingly natural it almost hurts. Caleb slides forward to wrap his arms around Adam's waist and lean into him as Adam ducks his head. When he turns back Caleb has this goofy smile that Adam would make fun of him for if he wasn't painfully aware that he has the same look on his own face.

For a second they just stare, too close to see anything more than blurry irises and the blink of eyelashes. They've been quiet for long enough to remember that they don't need to talk when Adam finds his hands gently alighting on Caleb's arms around him.

Caleb tips forward at the movement and their foreheads bump together softly. "I missed you too," he says, eyes reflexively falling shut.

For a moment Adam just watches him as best he can from so close. As a kid he was always terrible at those magic eye things, unable to unfocus enough to see the shapes behind the patterns in the book pressed to his nose, but now, here, he thinks maybe he finally gets it. Nose to nose with Caleb, there's no planet or horse or whatever he's supposed to see behind the blur, but he gets now that sometimes you have to start out incredibly close to be able to see something come out of the nonsense.

"What am I feeling?" Adam asks, still as naturally as breathing. Caleb shakes his head a little, forgetting how close they are until their noses bump into each other. He looks a little surprised, and Adam can't help but laugh a little.

"I don't even know," he says with some kind of reverent disbelief, "just... good?"

"Good..." Adam thinks about it for a second. A breeze sweeps through the park, just enough to rustle the leaves of the trees and make him just that much extra glad for Caleb's arms around him. He angles the rest of his body toward Caleb and says, "That makes sense."

"It does?" Even if Caleb wasn't seemingly incapable of looking away from his mouth, Adam would probably still get the hint.

"Yeah." Adam laughs and closes his eyes, still talking even as he leans in. "Of course it does."

Their second first kiss is on an entirely different level from the first. Even as it's happening Adam can't stop thinking about how they're in the same park, on the same bench, in the same situation three months apart. The worries are different, and worse in a lot of ways, but it still all just melts away.

And it's so much better now. There's a familiarity to the way Caleb unconsciously holds him as close as humanly possible, to how their lips fit perfectly together. Adam feels his heart in his throat and knows that Caleb feels it too when he pulls back to breathe and sees his face.

"Are you... crying?"

He's not, but his eyes are a little wet as he glares at Adam and pokes him in the side. "Shut up. I just really fucking missed you."

"You missed getting kissed all the time," Adam corrects, only blushing a little. He's hoping that maybe it'll unbalance Caleb enough that they won't both get overemotional, but Caleb just shrugs.

"Kinda, yeah. But mostly because you were the one doing the kissing."

Adam can't help it—he's definitely blushing now. The fact that they're basically as close as possible without Adam literally being in Caleb's lap (and he's not going to linger on that thought right now but maybe later, definitely, for sure) isn't helping the whole "overwhelming, flustered happiness" thing they've both got going on right now.

After a stupidly long moment of them just smiling at each other Caleb clears his throat and glances away before asking, "So, just to be clear, are we boyfriends again? Or, uh, still? Because I for one would be down with that."

Settling his hands on Caleb's shoulders, Adam can't help the hint of laughter that sneaks out and into his voice. "Yeah, Caleb," he says, "I think we are. Totally weird, not at all normal, kinda dumb boyfriends."

The park around them is quiet enough that it feels like they're in their own little world. Adam for one has pictured this moment a hundred times, and a fair few number of those pictures have taken place right here—out of some sense of poetic justice or bookending, bringing the story full circle as his literary habits kick in.

It feels exactly like he'd imagined only more, the hazy dreamlike film removed by detail. It's real and present and not at all a picture in his head. He can tell how Caleb's hands are a little sweaty on his jacket at the small of his back and how his knee is at an awkward angle on the bench from twisting around. Everything wrong is nothing but pleasantly awkward and just enough for Adam to know he isn't dreaming. It feels like something, and he doesn't know what exactly, but he's feeling a lot of it.

Whatever it is he's feeling makes Caleb smile and he kisses Adam's forehead in a gesture so familiar Adam doesn't even think to think about it. "But still pretty great, right?"

Adam smiles back.

"Pretty fucking great, yeah."

**Author's Note:**

> happy halloween!!!! that has nothing to do with any of this lol, i just only realized a couple hours ago now that it's nearly over. as a festive gift, please take these boyfriends.
> 
> i realized belatedly that the timeline of this doesn't entirely make sense but, in the wise words of lauren shippen, "football? never heard of her"
> 
> oh, but if anyone knows what album they were supposedly listening to PLS share, i gots to know
> 
> thank you for all the kudos and comments, they're all lovely and i appreciate them so much!!!!! in case you haven't noticed i have absolutely no self control, so i've already started aaaaaaanother fic lmao, but i really do appreciate all the love. oh also title and italicized summary from "[white ferrari](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToO4VFCoR7U)" by frank ocean
> 
> tumblr @[moonfullofstars](http://moonfullofstars.tumblr.com)  
> ko-fi @[mildlydiscouraging](https://ko-fi.com/mildlydiscouraging)


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